ok.. so I haven't really wrote in here in a while, but I have alot to get out.. I feel like I'm falling apart this summer.. Maybe it is being in Springfield and having too much time to think right now.. Thank god I finally got a job and started some classes..I just have some many emotions running through me right now.. all I want to do is cry.. I'm soo confused and on top of it my friend told me last night he likes me.. I'm not even content with myself right now which is ironic b/c last summer I felt soo sure of myself.. I felt on top of the world and I hate to say it is b/c of one person, but I always seem to rely on one person to change my world around...I always need that best friend that puts as much energy into the friendship as me and seems just as excited to see me and tell me everything as I am them..It hurts when you feel like you put more into a friendship than the other person... I miss being around this person... Last year was seriously the best.. He made everything sooo much better.. He made me feel good about myself and that he wanted to hang out with me just as much and talk to me just as much..I felt like I could absolutely be myself and he still loved me. I didn't feel like his back-up... We were always together even when there were other people in the room.. we still talked to each other and made sure to make contact with each other.. I just miss that.. I miss havin a best friend like that.. maybe b/c I love attention I don't know.. and maybe b/c I feel like I need a best friend to strive(B/c I know at the end of the day that person will be there for me and would never care what we did as long as we were hanging out)

I have also been getting annoyed...Some people always seem to be bored and never content.. and maybe this bugs me b/c I am pretty content doing whatever as long as I'm with friends or family.. What does it matter what you are doing or aren't doing.... who says you always have to go out and drink.. All that really matters is that you are hanging out with the people you love and enjoy being around...and saying you are bored makes them feel like you are bored with them.. If you are bored with them maybe you should go find some new friends...just a few thoughts that have been bugging me..anyway.. sorry to have such a long and ranting blog but I just needed to get it out

Well here is my update... It has been quite awhile... Last night went out to The Boogie for $5 all you can drink... wow it is dangerous being 21 that is for sure.. Thank god JR was there to take Katie and myself home, but we had a good time!!! OH shit I just forgot I left the minivan downtown...oh no... Looks like I can't go to Walmart for medicine...blah.. I need medicin b/c I think I have the measles...I have this rash all over my body.. I don't know waht to do.. It is soo wierd.. Not to mention allow with that last week my computer decided its not going to work.. And then that next night I dropped my phone in chicken noodle soup and didn't have any means of communication....haha...But my phone is up and working again.. no need to worry..haha.. I just need to get my computer going again and then get rid of this illness i have and we are back in action..

Sarah and I are getting an apartment next year!! wohoo.. We are also getting a puppy, so excited!!! Her bf is gettting her one for her bday and said he would pay the pet fee too.. I can't wait for next year.. It will be awesome b/c I need to get out of the living arrangement.. AFter every that has happened lately with the roommate I come back the other day tofind her wearing one of my shirts.. Now typically I wouldn't mind someone wearing it, but I know I will never see that shirt again.. and she was wearing it backwards.. at least wear it the right way.. ok im done with that

I need to go figure out how to get the van and such...We are going to the basketball game tonight!! I really need to be doing homework, so we will see.. haha. i hope everyone has a good night!!

Nothing like a beer shower... haha.. the crazies decided to have Jake do a keg stand, so I held his beer.. Well as they were lifting him up I got kicked in the croch by his feet and threw the beer up all over everyone..haha.. It was quite funny to watch...Except when they decided that I need to do a keg stand then...And let me tell you..they give you no choice.. THey just surround you and pick you up.. I have learned if you try to resist you end up just falling into the keg....not a  good idea.. alittle painful.

 tHe night was going pretty well until about 12:00, when all shit went down.. literally.. So as Mrs. Treppler is walking in at about 12:00 all this dog shit got smeared all over their rug then a glass got broken...All I have to say is this can not be a good sign for the new year..haha...

After all this I decided it might be agood time for me to leave, so I went over to Lisa's house. I was alittle disappointed Brian wasn't there, so I called him and convinced him to come back over.. It was great seeing him again..We all ended up talking for a long time..To find out he was pre-med at one point... This guy is ridiculous.. he knows everything and is just too perfect to be true.. We came to the conclusion that the grinding in my knee is not good or normal.. I figured it wasn't, but ya know..My knees are just fucked..I did get to drive his car again for a good 40 minutes.. It was fun..

Quick Question.. Does anyone else wake up with pains or really sore?..This seems to be reaccurring to me lately.. Maybe it is b/c I haven't been sleeping in my bed but who knows..I think I wake up with a new pain every morning... oh the joys of getting older

Nothin like another update of randomness for my loyal readers and of course my commenters(kenny and Amy) haha.. I think everyone else has given up on me.. What ya going to do. I suggest just switching over to myspace..

WEll I am kind of enjoying the office and work environment, sad enough..For all those people who say they don't want an office job well you haven't seen the treats you get around Christmas time.. haha.

Today at work.. We tested out the prize to make sure I constructed it right...It was a record player, cd player, radio and cassette player all in one.. I know.. amazing.. That is what we thought..I went to stick a cd in it and almost got hit & hurt by it b/c it opens up so fast. My dad even tested out the volume.. yep it is loud enough to blare out my singing voice and the rest of the office

Went to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2.. quite entertaining, but if you are competitive I suggest not seeing it b/c it is all about these 2 families competing. I almost just wanted to jump in there myself and compete with them.

I am kinding of feeling the need to do something destructive or just plain crazy..so if you have any ideas. .let me know.. I mean nothing really beats a party with $700 worth of packing peanuts, but I am open to suggestion b/c I feel the need to utilize my house.

Let's see.. I feel the need to give a shout out to Jessie tonight..Thanks for always giving me a good laugh and being there for me...One of my best friends by far.. along with Nancy..haha..Can't wait for the baking of the Christmas tree tomorrow.. I hope nothing catches on fire..haha.. just don't blow any gas near the flames and we should be ok..

Well I think that about concludes the randomness for tongiht.. good night!